A Late Goodbye

I wonder who first found out that Change is the only Constant. Wise! A very very wise person indeed. The more firmly I feel something should not change the more easily I see it changing. I have seen the phenomenon repeat itself over and over again, in one form or the other, and it is pretty interesting. It has been nearly twelve years. As a school going kid I used to think - this is how I should be. Now that I look back, ever since I thought so I kept changing myself according to the environment, sometimes liking, sometimes adjusting, sometimes fighting back and today that innocent school kid is like a distant memory, cherished of course. Over the last fortnight I was pondering over my future, thinking about what I really want from it, from myself and I was settling my mind about my past. We all carry our past with us, whether we like it or not, it is entirely upon us whether we think of it as a burden or use it as experience and improve our lives. There are things which, if I had a chance, I would like to do a little differently but certainly I am completely okay with whatever happened. I don't see a reason to regret it or rather, I can see a reason why I don't need to regret it. I understand now, why they say - Everything happens for a reason! 

We cling on to some simple things in our lives and we realize that it is only us who are holding so tightly, that it is okay to just let go, that life goes on no matter what. Sometimes it is okay to choose one way and be happy with it because no matter what, you would never find out what good or bad would have happened had you chosen the other way. Now, whether you take The Road Not Taken or not is up to you. Be it the Most Desired Job, the Random Girl, the Splendid Social Life, if I can just let go, in stead of running behind them, know it when they bid a good bye, understand what I really desire and focus on what I can do to make a difference, for the good and the right, in my life and the life of others around me then may be I will feel more satisfied when I look back. Well, that is one Way of Life. Yours could be totally different, just make sure you hold on to those who/that are important and dear to you, and then possibly you would enjoy your journey even in the toughest of times.

Cheers

Random Guy... Signing Out!

After 30

It is interesting how life takes various different turns almost every now and then. Sometimes those turns impact our lives and at other times we simply ignore those changes. It has been four months since my previous post and my life has continued to evolve (or so I think). I was noticing very minute changes and almost everything happening around me seemed to affect my thought process. May be I was too jobless or may be I was on to understanding something fundamentally important. And then came the GATE to be opened and almost everything else became secondary. I certainly put more efforts in preparing for my examination this time compared to my previous attempts. I am not sure of what the results will bring for me, what I am sure of is I would be a little satisfied and a little disheartened at the same time, but in any case I would certainly feel happy that I enjoyed the ride. In this last one month I postponed every possible activity to after 30th of the month (my exam date). For nearly a month 'After 30' became the most used phrase for me. More or less, there was nothing else on mind, after a long time I had a very specific personal goal and I could focus on it without wavering thoughts. I found that the time gap between lying down on the bed and falling asleep came down slowly. A focused goal can certainly sharpen your will as well as skill and the best part was the journey during the attempt to achieve that goal. 

During this period, occasionally I thought about what I really want from my life. I started reconsidering my options and almost every time, while in this 'After 30' business, the thoughts converged at one point 'What After 30'. Some things which I could observe around me make me think whether what I am trying to do is even worth it (from my position) and all I think about is where it will lead me to by the time I am around 30 years old. One thing I understood very clearly is, whatever the path I choose, I would never know what would have happened, had I chosen any other path. I can only imagine. This helps me slow down and think. I don't know how good it is to be so slow, may be time will tell me some time. I used to think about what all I would do after the exam is over. There were so many things that used to cross my mind. Now that the exam is actually over I already find myself in that 'I-don't-have-any-goal' situation. Let's just hope when I get up tomorrow morning I remember a few things on which I could focus. May be my goals for After 30 (if at all I am able to frame them correctly in first place) will help me lay down a path of intermediate milestones but then again at times it feels much better to go with the flow of time. I guess I would let time take its time in making me realize what I want to do, and, meanwhile I would sit back, relax and enjoying the journey forward.

Cheers

6 Past Farewell-Speech

Six months ago when I punched-in on the last day of my first job, I had no idea how much I would cherish my time at MSIL. Today, I delightfully speak about my time at Maruti, about my family there and my work there, about what I enjoyed there and what I learned there. On that day however, I had absolutely no clue what to say in my farewell speech. Now I can slightly understand why some people don't like farewells. They probably get a fairly good idea beforehand about how life would change. Back then, I was totally carefree, waiting for some good news (which did not come) on my scholarship application to Eindhoven University of Technology where I had applied for my Master's. I was given a super good farewell from Maruti and from Gurgaon by my family of friends and colleagues. I reached home plain and 'jobless'. About three weeks later I went for my interview at IIT-Madras (My only other application for further studies at that point), which was for Direct admission to PhD. One day before my interview I met a Professor (No mention of Names here) who gave me a good insight on what I would be getting into. The next day at the interview I screwed up and I screwed up big time. Although I did describe to many people what happened there, it is one of those things where only You know 'How stupid you were'; words are just not enough to explain perfectly. Not that I can do anything about it now, and anyway, like they say, 'Everything happens for a reason'. It was a different experience, may not be happy but definitely a good one. A month down the line I was sure that I was not joining for my graduate studies any time this year. Fast forward about 4 months. I am sitting at Pavilion (the name of the place which we called Special Stage or SS), typing these lines waiting, for the time when I will be interviewed for the position of Junior Research Fellow.

In the last six months I witnessed life like never before. To everyone else I was visible, I was walking and talking and doing things, but on the inside there was someone else, watching, observing, comparing life. Thoughts flowed up, down and around whatever came in front of them. I became a philosopher, a lover, a professional and a nomad all during these last six months, searching for the answers to the questions which came from the outside world as well as the inside mind. The inside guy was running his analysis. He was monitoring the changes in interests, in desires, in targets and ambitions. He gave constant updates. A lot changed and a lot settled and although a lot still seems unanswered there is a pleasant truce with everything. With the only certain thing being uncertainty, the random guy started learning to enjoy life the way it comes.

Cheers

Ubuntu Starters - Brightness to Bluetooth

Ever since I came to know of Ubuntu and Linux (Linux Is Not UniX) I wanted to try them and learn about them. During university days I installed Ubuntu side by side with windows but never actually explored it, except probably the install and uninstall part which I did quite a few times. This time however as my new laptop came with Ubuntu 12.04 LTS and I decided not to uninstall it for the sake of installing Windows, I did try my hands on one or two things. In this post I'll put a few things that could give a brief idea about Ubuntu if you ever wish to try it out (it is worth a shot, who knows it might trigger your love for complicatedly simple software engineering)

Installing Ubuntu is similar to how you install Windows, you can install it side by side as well. There are enough websites and forums to give you more than enough knowledge if you ever decide to install it. The only probable difference points you would notice are that the partition type is EXT3 or 4 and not NTFS (like for Windows), that there is something called mount point, which you can think of as start point/home directory and, that there is something called Swap Area which I understood as a virtual RAM. For a computer with, say, 2GB+ RAM I don't think it would be required for a basic user, so I guess ignoring Swap Area wouldn't cause any issue. Anyways, like I said, there is enough information available online. If you install Ubuntu alongside Windows, you get to choose at every start which OS to boot into. There is a sequence in which these OS are displayed and there is a time-out after which either default or highlighted OS is loaded (I don't remember which). You can change the boot loader sequence and also the time-out and the default OS.

After you have installed Ubuntu you would probably find yourself handicapped at first as every audio / video you play might ask you to install plugins. Also there might be an update manager popping up giving a list of updates adding up to a huge file size. It is TOTALLY ALRIGHT. You can just go to Ubuntu Software Center and install VLC Media Player. Now this one is really cool. You can just browse stuff like you do in case of Android Play Store. Search for what software you need, read description, if it serves your purpose then install, Simple and Elegant. Just that it is not flooded with options.

Something that you might find interesting or annoying is that bluetooth is on and brightness is set to full every time you restart. To change that I had to browse multiple forums. It would be easier for me to just put some code here rather than to find and link those websites now.

Open Terminal (ctrl+alt+t) the command prompt in Ubuntu

type following code and hit enter

sudo gedit /etc/rc.local

this opens a file in text editor (gedit)

Before the last line of the file which should say "exit 0" Add the following two lines

rfkill block bluetooth
echo 0 > /sys/class/backlight/acpi_video0/brightness

save (ctrl+s)

exit editor (alt+F4) - only then you will be able to exit terminal

exit terminal - type exit and hit enter (or if you wish to check you can type sudo reboot and hit enter)

sudo is to run as administrator so it asks for your admin password (only first time in that Terminal session). In the two lines above, first line kills the bluetooth process and second line sets the value of brightness variable to 0. It is wise to check if such variable is there at that location (/sys/class/backlight/acpi_video0/). and the value 0 can be changed to suit your requirement. For the range of this value you will have to change and monitor the variable value at the location where it is stored. rc.local is something which, you may say, is something run at every start. You want to explore more, read about RunLevels. for now That's All Folks

Cheers

Thala

She asked me "Why don't men cry?" I said "I can't answer that coz I am a guy and I do cry"... In the morning someone in the lab said "Here comes another mail. One more guy left the company" As the name of the guy was read out a smile passed my face. It was the last working day of one of my colleagues at Maruti. Someone who had become a very good friend of ours. I heard the full name of the guy being read out. I turned around and said "Yes sir. He's my friend". I still remember that hint of pride in my mind when I had told that he got admit at a prestigious university in Europe and is leaving to do his higher studies there.

She said "But still...". I knew what she was asking but I really didn't have an answer. I finally gave it a thought and said what I could best come up with. I said that all of us cry, we cry when we see or remember something that we value and start feeling the lack of it. He became like an integral part of our daily life. He managed to sit through lunches filled with talks in Telugu, but he left such an impression that without his phrase "On your face" the lunch now feels incomplete. I get reminded of him every time I see RJ (the girl he used to adore, he still does I guess :P)

He wasn't the first one to leave. But his leaving was something that made me realise a lot of things. Our journeys are all different. People happen to meet and with some luck and interest they make friends. When the time comes we part. But we don't go empty handed. We take with us the memories of all the good and bad times we spent together. The memories which heal the tears on the inside and knit a beautiful smile on the outside. Thala, thanks a lot for all these sweet memories. Dunno why I started calling you that but now that I know the meaning I feel it suits you well. We'll sure keep in touch. Keep rocking. I wish you all the very best for your endeavours and adventures. And we still have to meet someone at your wedding, with at least two kids.

Cheers

Beyond its Afterlife

If this God-sent God-ly friend had not suggested me to write some (sort of) tech stuff on my blog I probably wouldn't have made a conscious effort to think of something like that. Thanks to his encouragement I did type something about my experience with data loss and data recovery. However I myself was not satisfied with what I wrote. How could I make such a thing my first-of-its-kind entry on this blog. That too when I am calling it a dedication to this friend. So here I go modifying that post. I wouldn't call this one a very techie post but for a start this would do.

Compaq CQ40 was my first laptop. It came with a 14" screen, 2GB RAM, 250GB HDD (don't remember the remaining specification) and fortunately or unfortunately, with a preloaded Windows Vista Home Basic, latest Windows OS of its time. I was in my 1st semester of bachelor's and was of the opinion that I would be taking that laptop to college once I enter 2nd year. However something happened and I decided to buy a new laptop jointly with a batch-mate, to keep the CQ40 with my dad. I went on to buy a Lenovo on which I installed an RTM version of Windows 7. I still remember formatting that laptop almost every month because I had doubts on the correctness of the install. It is as if I practised installing Windows 7 and XP (with drivers) on that laptop. In another year I bought a different laptop (Compaq) for myself (the other guy retained the Lenovo). Did a whole lot of stuff, learnt a whole lot of stuff on that laptop, for two years and sold it before leaving university. All this while CQ40 was at home, being used by dad. Sometime after I joined my job I convinced my dad (saying that he should use his company provided laptop) and got it here to use. This bugger gave me some unusual experiences. I, sort of, witnessed a HDD crash for the first time in my life (trust me, you start feeling totally helpless after it happens). I made me read a whole lot of stuff on data recovery, I even tried getting professional help, but at the end I couldn't really recover any of it. Moral of the story, all those software and websites yelling "take back up of data" "back up your data" are not dumb. It is a good advice. If you don't trust online resources like Google Drive or Dropbox or some other cloud storage you can still think of keeping an external hard disk inside a locker in which you can store your personal data and from where no one can have a sneak peak on your "shame shame" photographs of childhood.

Well after multiple repairs/replacements motherboard of that poor little thing (My CQ40) finally gave up (or so said the technician). He agreed to buy the laptop (for the remaining components that worked). It is a different sad story how I am yet to receive some money from him. I was probably too attached to the laptop and was not giving attention to its age. It occurred to me only after a friend mocked me for using it beyond its afterlife, that it was nearly 6 years old. In these years, as many of you may know there has been like a revolution in the laptops. They have become faster, more compact, light weight and what not. It is only after I bought my new Dell Inspiron 3000 series laptop (and also while I was choosing it) that I saw the whole lot of upgrade in the laptop hardware that has happened over the years. In a later blog post I will try sharing my ideas on how to choose a laptop (just my opinions based on what could be your requirements). But do remember this, being attached to some gadget/device is one thing, but expecting it to survive and endure your lifetime is just not fair.

Cheers

The Heart Song

Roughly, a year back, when I was travelling by train, I penned down a few lines, the starting of a song that I finally managed to finish today. I don't remember if it was to or from Hari's wedding. There were few other Marutian friends around me. I could write, I guess, two stanzas then. And then as if it was totally forgotten. It started with a thought where I felt that I needed some peace of mind, that I miss the days of my past. Later I never really spent time on it. In recent days, I have no idea why, something came on to me and I started thinking more about this song and finishing it. I might have made it a little melodramatic but minus the exaggeration it sure contains some reality. The music for this song plays in my head, however I am not very sure if I'll be able to compose it (or even sing the song well for that matter). If I manage to make an audio I'll post the link as a postscript ;-) for now here comes the lyrics of the song. 

Need a Quantum of Solace

And a Micro of Space

Just to tie My Shoe Lace

And to Show you My Face

Remembering those Days

And looking into Blue Haze

Up on Shining Stars I Gaze

Munching in a few of Lays

She left me for another

I did not run any further

Everything's fine but one bother

I just could not pull it together...

Watching buildings and mountains

Through the windows in the train

I wonder was there any gain

Or was all of it in vain

Remembering those Days

And looking into Blue Haze

Up on Shining Stars I Gaze

Munching in a few of Lays

Need a Quantum of Solace

And a Micron of Space

Need a Quantum of Solace

And a Micron of Space

In the dilemma, I got to know her

Not that before, I never met her

Into chaos, she brought some order

What happened next, well it doesn't really matter...

I Spoke with the Fountain

It told me Break the Stupid Chain

Ponder over your Ways

You have to Quit that Mundane Chase

As I Heard the Smarter Phrase

And I Saw a Brighter Glaze

Said "No More" and Quit the Laze

To Get Back My Former Craze

For that quantum of solace

and that micron of space

For that quantum of solace

and that micron of space

For that quantum of solace

and that micron of space

... yeah

The title of this blog post was just so to say that the words came from my heart. Now I realise it doesn't seem bad as the title of the song as well. And thus we name the song as ... The Heart Song

Cheers